What’s self-worth really worth?

This month, I’d like you to consider taking this self-test from The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook .

To know how you feel about yourself and the things you are saying to and believing about yourself can be vitally important to your health and wellbeing.

Place the appropriate number before each statement.
1 = not at all 3 = strongly/frequently
2 = somewhat/sometimes 4 = very strongly

__ 1. I feel powerless or helpless.
__ 2. Often, I feel like a victim of outside circumstances.
__ 3. I don’t have the money to do what I really want.
__ 4. There is seldom enough time to do what I want.
__ 5. Life is very difficult – it’s a struggle.
__ 6. If things are going well, watch out!
__ 7. I feel unworthy. I feel that I’m not good enough.
__ 8. Often, I feel that I don’t deserve to be successful or happy.
__ 9. Often, I feel a sense of defeat and resignation, a sense of “why bother?”
__ 10. My condition seems hopeless.
__ 11. There is something fundamentally wrong with me.
__ 12. I feel ashamed of my condition.
__ 13. If I take risks to get better, I’m afraid I’ll fail.
__ 14. If I take risks to get better, I’m afraid I’ll succeed.
__ 15. If I recovered fully, I might have to deal with realities I’d rather not face.
__ 16. I feel like I’m nothing (or can’t make it) unless I’m loved.
__ 17. I can’t stand being separated from others.
__ 18. If a person I love doesn’t love me in return, I feel like it’s my fault.
__ 19. It’s very hard to be alone.
__ 20. What others think of me is very important.
__ 21. I feel personally threatened when criticized.
__ 22. It’s important to please others.
__ 23. People won’t like me if they see who I really am.
__ 24. I need to keep up a front or others will see my weaknesses.
__ 25. I have to achieve or produce something significant in order to feel okay about myself.
__ 26. My accomplishments at work/school are extremely important.
__ 27. Success is everything.
__ 28. I have to be the best at what I do.
__ 29. I have to be somebody – somebody outstanding.
__ 30. To fail is terrible.
__ 31. I can’t rely on others for help.
__ 32. I can’t receive from others.
__ 33. If I let someone get too close, I’m afraid of being controlled.
__ 34. I can’t tolerate being out of control.
__ 35. I’m the only one who can solve my problems.
__ 36. I should always be generous and unselfish.
__ 37. I should be the perfect (rate each below)…
__ employee __ lover __ son/daughter __ professional __ friend __ spouse __ student __ parent
__ 38. I should be able to endure any hardship.
__ 39. I should be able to find a quick solution to every problem.
__ 40. I should never be tired or fatigued.
__ 41. I should always be efficient.
__ 42. I should always be competent.
__ 43. I should always be able to foresee everything.
__ 44. I should never be angry or irritable. OR: I don’t like (am afraid of) anger.
__ 45. I should always be pleasant and nice, no matter how I feel.
__ 46. I often feel (rate each below)…
__ ugly __ unintelligent __ inferior or defective __ guilty or ashamed
__ 47. I’m just the way I am – I can’t really change.
__ 48. The world outside is a dangerous place.
__ 49. Unless you worry about a problem, it just gets worse.
__ 50. It’s risky to trust people.
__ 51. My problems will go away on their own with time.
__ 52. I feel anxious about making mistakes.
__ 53. I demand perfection of myself.
__ 54. If I didn’t have my safe person (or safe place), I’m afraid I couldn’t cope.
__ 55. If I stop worrying, I’m afraid something bad will happen.
__ 56. I’m afraid to face the world out there on my own.
__ 57. My self-worth isn’t a given – it has to be earned.

If your total score for questions 1, 2, 7, 9, 10, and 11 is over 15 points: You likely believe that you are powerless, have little or no control over outside circumstances, or are unable to do much that could help your situation. In sum, “I’m powerless” or “I can’t do much about my life.”
Change your self talk to: “I am in control.” “I am the creator of my life.” “All the power I need is inside me.” “I own my power and worth.”

If your total score for questions 16, 17, 18, 19, 54, and 56 is over 15 points: You likely believe that your self-worth is dependent on the love of someone else. You feel that you need another’s (or others’) love to feel okay about yourself and to cope. In sum, “My worth and security are dependent on being loved.”
Change your self talk to: “I am worthy of love.” “I love myself.” “What others think of me is none of my business.” “My love is enough.” “All the love I need is inside myself.”

If your total score for questions 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, and 45 is over 15 points: You likely believe that your self-worth is dependent on others’ approval. Being pleasing and getting acceptance from others is very important for your sense of security and your sense of who you are. In sum, “My worth and security depend on the approval of others.”
Change your self talk to: “What others think of me is none of my business.” “I value and appreciate myself.” “I am worthy as I am.” “I own my power and worth.” “I am ok with the way I am.”

If your total score for questions 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 41, and 42 is over 20 points: You likely believe that your self-worth is dependent on external achievements, such as school or career performance, status, or wealth. In sum, “My worth is dependent on my performance or achievements.”
Change your self talk to: “I am enough.” “I am worthy as I am.” “My worth is set by simply doing my best.” “I am ok with the way I am.”

If your total score for questions 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, and 50 is over 15 points: You likely believe that you can’t trust, rely on, or receive help from others. You may have a tendency to keep a distance from people and avoid intimacy for fear of losing control. In sum, “If I trust or get too close, I’ll lose control.”
Change your self talk to: “I am safe to trust.” “I am in control.” “It is safe to let others in.” “I own my power.” “I am calm and handling this.”

If your total score for questions 37, 38, 39, 40, 52, and 53 is over 25 points: You likely believe that you have to be perfect in some or many areas of your life. You make excessive demands on yourself. There is no room for mistakes. In sum, “I have to be perfect” or “It’s not okay to make mistakes.”
Change your self talk to: “I become better from my mistakes.” “My learning always occurs, even with mistakes.” “It is ok to make mistakes.” “Setbacks are part of my learning process.” “I am making progress.” “I am improving.”

Need more assistance in working on changing your record and getting out of a rut? Schedule your appointment today!

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